Matt Gaetz Should Be Shitting Himself Right Now, Says Lawyer for Gaetz Pal Likely Cooperating With the Feds
When The New York Times reported that the Department of Justice was investigating Rep. Matt Gaetz for allegedly paying women for sex and, separately, sleeping with a minor and transporting her across state lines, the Florida congressman presumably thought that was going to be the worst day of his career for a long while. Then CNN reported that in addition to potentially having committed the sort of crimes that can send a person away for 10 years, he was also a certifiable sleazebag who had allegedly shown naked photos of women he’d slept with to colleagues on the House floor. Later, we learned that Gaetz was dumb enough to have seemingly provided literal receipts to the women he’d allegedly paid for sex. Days after that, it emerged that the lawmaker had reportedly asked Donald Trump for a blanket pardon for “any” crimes he might have committed, which is not something innocent people typically feel the need to do.
At this point, you might have thought that Gaetz—who has denied the accusations against him as well as the report re: seeking a pardon—was mentally prepared for whatever else was going to come his way. Still, he probably didn’t expect to wake up on Thursday and learn that his close friend Joel Greenberg, who allegedly procured the women the lawmaker paid for sex, and was reportedly charged with trafficking the same 17-year-old Gaetz allegedly slept with, is now likely cooperating with the Feds. Per Politico:
“We believe this case is going to be a plea,” federal prosecutor Roger Handberg said at the beginning of the hearing, adding that his “hope would be that it is done this month.” It was Scheller’s remarks following the proceedings, though, that presumably had Gaetz soiling himself, given that he burst into laughter after being asked: “Does Matt Gaetz have anything to worry about?” and then, after composing himself, responded “I’m sure Matt Gaetz is not feeling very comfortable today.”
Despite the fact that Gaetz is one of his most devoted footstools, Donald Trump has not exactly come to Gaetz‘s defense. After saying nothing about the scandal—despite usually having no problem weighing in on such things—he issued a two-line statement on Wednesday saying that the congressman had never personally asked him for a pardon, also and noting that he has denied all the accusations against him.
Sad: Mitch McConnell‘s wife can‘t find a high-paying job doing very little thanks to her association with Trump
If it’s not too much to ask, please keep Elaine Chao in your prayers:
And while Chao did indeed resign the day after the attack on the Capitol, even if we assume that had nothing to do with shirking her responsibility to help remove Trump via the 25th Amendment, it doesn’t mean much given that (1) she was going to be out of a job in two weeks anyway and (2) she stood by Trump after he:
- Refused to disavow right-wing extremists, telling them instead to “stand back and stand by”
- Reportedly separated infants from their migrant parents (and claimed it was fine because the facilities he kept children in were clean)
- Tried to extort a foreign government into digging up dirt on his political rival’s son
- Reportedly called fallen soldiers “suckers” and “losers”
- Pressured an election official to “find” 11,780 votes or suffer the consequences
- Was and is an abject racist and anti-Semite
- Let hundreds of thousands of people in the U.S. die on his watch, having said the virus that killed them would just disappear (and been caught on tape admitting to lying to the public about it)
Still, we’re sure she will land on her feet eventually—a person “close” to Chao said she is “evaluating a number of invitations to join various corporate boards”—and if a gig doesn’t pan out, she thankfully has many millions to fall back on.
Stephen Miller is trying to unload his D.C. condo
The listing doesn’t make it clear if he’s willing to throw in the coffin he sleeps in to sweeten the deal, but make him an offer and find out!
The apartment reportedly boasts an “immaculate kitchen featur[ing] sleek wood cabinets and white counters, stainless-steel Bosch appliances, and a built-in banquet,” as well as “high-tech stereo equipment throughout, and a parking space that comes with the unit.” On the other hand, one must consider the hundreds of thousands they’ll have to spend on sage bundles in order to cleanse the place of Miller’s aura.
Michigan Cases Surge to Worst in Nation as Variants Multiply (Bloomberg)
Video shows Texas GOP official seeking “army” of volunteers to monitor polls in mostly Black and Hispanic Houston precincts (Washington Post)
George Floyd’s breathing was so restricted that it was almost as if his lung had been removed, expert says (Yahoo)
Biden: If I could do one thing on guns, I would allow people to sue gun manufacturers (CNBC)
Current Emissions Put the World on Track for Biodiversity Collapse (Bloomberg)
“Trump pardoned the man who sexually harassed me. Will I now spend the rest of my life looking over my shoulder?” (The Atlantic)
Another aide to Matt Gaetz is said to have quit amid an intensifying Justice Department investigation. (NYT)
Florida sues CDC to allow cruises to resume U.S. sailings (CNBC)
Woman loses front teeth after drinking mimosas at bottomless brunch (NYP)
Video Shows Giant Lizard Storming 7-Eleven in Search of Food (Complex)
— Inside the Messy Breakup of an OnlyFans Model and Her Über-Wealthy Boyfriend
— Wyoming Tells Donald Trump Jr. to Sit Down and STFU
— A Wave of Displaced New Yorkers Is Upending the Hamptons Social Order
— How a Group of Rich Memphians Acted on Trump’s Big Lie During Capitol Attack
— Prosecutors Are Lining Up Witnesses in Trump Investigations
— Republicans Brave Plan to Stop Mass Shootings: Do Nothing
— Next-Level Harassment of Female Journalists Puts News Outlets to the Test
— Six Photographers Share Images From Their COVID Year
— From the Archive: American Nightmare, the Ballad of Richard Jewell
— Serena Williams, Michael B. Jordan, Gal Gadot, and more are coming to your favorite screen April 13–15. Get your tickets to Vanity Fair’s Cocktail Hour, Live! here.
Published at Thu, 08 Apr 2021 23:09:28 +0000