Learning to Crochet Was an Absolute Roller Coaster, Thanks for Asking


    Learning to Crochet Was an Absolute Roller Coaster, Thanks for Asking

    According to the one-minute clips that flooded my TikTok this past summer, crocheting is a fun hobby you can do while watching TV. According to the trends currently dominating Instagram, I must have quirky, colorful woven sweaters, dresses made from ever-iconic granny squares, and homespun bucket hats. So obviously, I needed to crochet myself some stuff. And, um, here’s how that went.


    someone holding all the supplies you need to crochet including a purple yarn skein, a gold crochet hook, some small scissors

    Ze supplies.

    To start, I bought an obscene amount of yarn and a bunch of hooks (in crochet, you use just one hook at a time to make the loops and knots that eventually become a garment). Then I headed over to YouTube and dried out my eyeballs with h-o-u-r-s of how-tos on basic stitching (single, double, half-double…). Subscribe to Kirrilalia and Ann’s Closet if you wanna learn how to do these yourself or understand the distinctions between British and American stitch names (I could not be bothered with the latter).

    By the way, if you want to learn how to crochet yourself, here’s everything you’ll need: yarn, a hook, scissors, and a measuring tape (not pictured above bc she’s shy).

    MONTH 1

    baby wrapped in a handmade crochet blanket

    Hi, Keanu 🙂

    My first project: a soft baby blanket for my bestie, who was ~expecting~. (Spoiler alert, her bb is here now and he is the cutest—ILY, Keanu!) ’Twas supposed to be a rectangle, but let’s just say it turned out more trapezoidal. Luckily, Keanu doesn’t know his shapes yet.

    MONTH 2

    Next up, granny squares, then a crop top. Using knits from brands like Hope Macaulay and Lirika Matoshi as inspo, I decided to color-block my creation. This one actually turned out relatively normal-shaped (!)—it’s just waaay too side-boob-y to wear outside the house.

    crochet granny square

    My perfect granny square. 

    handmade crochet crop top in a color block pattern

    The crop top. 

    MONTH 3

    Because I am nothing if not wildly ambitious, I decided it’d be cool to make a cardigan. They take a lot of time to get right, but I gave myself a whole month. What could go wrong? Obviously something, because you may have noticed that the item I’m wearing in the photo on the left below looks more like a vest or, as my editor noted, “like a wrap with armholes.”

    girl in homemade crochet vest

    Look at my “cardigan!”

    progress shot of someone crocheting

    My vacation in a nutshell.

    The truth is that there was no time for sleeves…or buttons…or any flourishes. There was time only for endlessly stitching the back and front panels together, forever and ever, amen. The good news is that now I know: Thick yarn = a faster project. The thin kind I bought = transforming into Mrs. Weasley on my vacation and not finishing until 5 a.m. the morning of this photo shoot. I mean, I know I look happy and well rested, but LIES. Still, I’ll probably keep up with crocheting just as soon as I get over this mild trauma.

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    Published at Mon, 01 Nov 2021 14:00:00 +0000


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